Odds & Ends:

My letter to the editor was posted. I hope this is the end of that whole fiasco with Father Orsini. I wish I could take part in the Day Without Immigrants march on Monday, May 1, but there's no way I can take off work. But I'll be there in spirit.

I do plan on attending Rally to Stop Genocide, taking place in DC on Sunday. The crisis in Darfur is just heartbreaking. Go to www.savedarfur.org/rally/ to find out more about what's going on and how you can make a difference. Think of it this way: If you could go back in time and do something about the Holocaust, wouldn't you? Well, this is another Holocaust. Hundreds of thousands of people have died, over 2 million have been displaced due to violence, and 3.5 million are hungry. We can't just sit by and do nothing.

On a much lighter note, I'm glad Kellie Pickler was voted off "American Idol" last night. The dumb blonde shtick was getting old. My next pick to go: Paris. I know she can sing, but she annoys me. I hope Elliott takes the whole thing. I know I say this every year, but I think this is my last year of watching "AI." It's getting a bit boring, isn't it? I sort of can't wait until summer, so I can start my "No TV during summer" rule." The weather's getting so nice out -- it's great to have an excuse not to stay home and watch TV...

I love this:

When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening, he went to a singles bar, where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and I'll inherit $20 million."

Impressed, the woman went home with him that evening and, three days later, became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men...

Well, the illustrious Father Orsini responded to my response regarding his letter to the editor. He wrote:

"As regards to [Maria Diarrhea's] objection to my letter, obviously she does not understand the nuances of the English language. My salient point was that pedestrian and vehicle violations of the law are not understood by any ethnic group who do not [sic] understand English.

"If any ethnic group wants to climb the ladder of success, learning and understanding English is absolutely necessary. Far from being prejudicial, I know as a first generation Italian-American that my immigrant parents learned to read and understand English. Our native language was used only at home because it helped us to preserve our history and culture.

"I fight bias wherever it is found. I have an excellent rapport with the Hispanic community at Our Lady of Assumption Church. [Maria Diarrhea] should be asking why the rest of the parishes in Bayonne do not accommodate the beautiful Hispanic community.

"[Maria Diarrhea's] letter was extremely prejudicial and does not speak for the Hispanic community in Bayonne. She dared to judge me and my intentions. [Maria Diarrhea] should be ashamed of her obvious prejudices."

Folks, I couldn't make this stuff up.

I am so livid! I was going to be the bigger person and not respond, but I can't just sit back. Can't and won't. So I'm shooting back another letter -- my last one, regardless of whether or not he writes another letter and what it says about me then. I think this says everything I want to say:

"One final response to Father Orsini's letter ["Refutes Accusation of Anti-Hispanic Bias," April 15], to correct some inaccuracies in his statements:

"I never said Father Orsini had an anti-Hispanic bias. I never even mentioned Hispanics in my letter. I merely stated that it was prejudicial to make a connection between the language one speaks and how observant he/she is of traffic rules. There are many people in this community who do not speak English, and they come from different nations, backgrounds and cultures. To single out the Hispanic community speaks volumes about Father Orsini's true beliefs.

"As does his comment that I do not understand the nuances of the English language. Why, because of my surname? I graduated with a degree in English and communications, and am a news director for an international news organization. The English language is my trade. The "nuances" in his letter did not escape me because they did not exist. There was nothing nuanced about his comments -- his prejudice was clear as day.

"Father Orsini and I do agree on one point, however -- that those who live in this country do themselves a disservice by not learning English. Perhaps a good starting point would be to do away with foreign-language masses, like the one Father Orsini gave in Italian this past Sunday. After all wouldn't speaking Italian only at home help his parishioners to "preserve [their] history and culture"?

"It is obvious that Father Orsini and I are not in agreement on this issue, and perhaps we never will be. My hope is that he, and others like him, will at least try to look past a person's origin, culture, and language and see the value and contribution each person brings to this community."

So last night was so much fun! There was an open bar (from which I, of course, did not partake), and actresses and Hottie McHot-Hot actors (also of which, sadly, I did not partake) from "Days of Our Lives," "One Life to Live" and "Guiding Light" (I guess those are the three shows that are filmed in New York?).

I took a few pictures, which I'll post soon, but I didn't want to go overboard and not be invited to any future events. As if.

Ooh, and I also got a nice goody bag, containing some beauty stuff, which I probably won't use (because, really, how do you improve on this?) and a gift certificate for a free facial at an NYC spa, which I definitely will use.

All in all, it was a pleasant night out mingling with some B-list stars and getting some free swag. Sweet.

Check this out: I helped one of our clients at work with a project last week, and it turns out she organizes the pre-Daytime Emmy party for the soap stars. She sent me two invites to the party!

So tomorrow night, I will be mingling with stars from "General Hospital," "Days of Our Lives," "Young and the Restless"... I just wished I watched any of these shows. I won't have any idea who these people are! I hope I can fake it...

The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Afternoon

A few posts back, I wrote about my brother's neighbor, who called to complain that my brother had left his dog outside in the rain.

Well, yesterday, I went over his house for Easter dinner. I brought the Easter basket; his neighbor brought a quaalude.

Here's what happened: A little before we got there, the neighbor took a pill, wrapped some meat around it, and threw it onto the deck in my brother's backyard. I'm not kidding! Luna had gone over and was eating the meat, though, thankfully, the pill had slipped out and was on the floor of the deck, so Luna didn't actually eat the pill. My brother and his wife called the police. They're going to test the pill to see what it actually was, and will follow up with the neighbor.

Can you believe that? I know a barking dog is annoying, but trying to drug the dog? And what if it was my nephew who walked over and decided to eat it? He's four -- he'll eat anything!

You know how they say you can't pick your family? Well, you can't pick your neighbors either. Some people need some serious help.

Have you ever thought you were psychic? Did you ever have one of those moments where you think of someone, and then they show up? Or when you get a "déjà vu" moment for something that didn't actually happen but that you envisioned?

I once had a psychic tell me that I had the gift but that I wouldn't acknowledge it, even subconsciously, and that I needed to learn to trust my intuition.

Whether she was BS'ing me or not, I have had those moments that totally freak me out. Case in point:

I was driving home from Long Island last Sunday and I decided to take a different route, which brought me near the home of an old friend with whom I'd lost contact. As I drove by the area, I thought about how sad it was that I'd never see him again because he'd moved away and I didn't know where he was now. With as many times as I've moved over the last few years, we were never able to keep up.

Later that day, I was at Stop & Shop with my mom. I was bagging items at the checkout when a woman approached. It was my friend's wife! Turns out they've moved back to the area. She had already shopped earlier that day, but had left her wallet at the store and had to go back for it. Had she not left her wallet there, we would have never seen each other. What are the chances?

There are also other times when I "see" things happen that actually do happen later down the line. Like when I "see" myself bumping into an old friend, and I do, or when I "see" something in a store window and then see the same thing later when shopping.

Whatever you call that -- whether that has anything to do with psychic power or is merely a coincidence -- it's enough to really freak me out.

Now, if I could just find a way to "see" by some winning lottery numbers...

I was watching Oprah earlier this week. Her guest was Pink ("Stupid Girls"), who was there to discuss the "marginalization of women," Oprah's phrase for the exploitation and dumbing down of women.

Said Oprah: "We are bombarded with titillating images of women degraded and on display -- scantily clad, overtly objectified. There is no escaping it -- women are being exploited. It's bad enough that women are allowing themselves to be used this way, but even worse, young girls are imitating them."

Just this morning, I was pointing out to a co-worker that Kellie Pickler on "American Idol" is a good example of this. She's got the dumb act down pat, and it makes her unthreatening and, therefore, sexy and popular. As another -- male -- co-worker said, "I could probably talk her into doing anything." Nice. Is this what we're teaching young girls, that the goal is to be liked by men whether or not they respect you?

Granted, Kellie brings it on herself by playing dumb (and I'm assuming she's playing, and isn't really that stupid), but when men see women portrayed as ditzes -- hello, Jessica Simpson -- on a regular basis, what's to discourage them from thinking that way about women in general?

Another example: I went to a bar the other day. There was a group of young girls there -- about 22, 23 years old -- and they were all dancing with each other in a sexually provocative way, giggling throughout. It was obvious they weren't gay ... this is just what they've seen on MTV's "Real World" and spring break coverage. That's where they've learned how to act.

Men, of course, can't be counted on to do anything about this issue -- they probably think it's good for them. But is it really? What can possibly be exciting about a life where your partner doesn't have a thought of their own, or doesn't have any beliefs to stand by? In the same way they wouldn't want, say, a video game to only have one level, wouldn't they want the person they're spending their life with to have more than one layer?

But, as with many women's issues, the "fault" lies not with men, but with ourselves. What kind of message are we sending our daughters, nieces, etc., when we obsess over our weight? Or when we hold back on voicing an opinion because it might be unpopular? We've equipped girls with the tools to get an education and a career. Now let's provide them with the tools to become who they are, and not some glamorized, overly sexualized version of who we think they should be.

Well, my letter to the editor was published this week in the local paper. I wonder if Father Orsini will write another letter responding to me in next week's paper. Then I'll have to write another the following week. And then he'll write another the week after that. And then, oh, heck, this could go on forever...

On another subject, I started yoga class last night. (And no, I didn't fart in this one.) It was harder than I imagined. I'd dabbled in yoga before, but mostly at gyms, rather than at a class taught by a yogi.

This class is all about asanas, or poses. We only learned a couple last night, like the "corpse pose," but already I feel better. I just have to remember to not worry about what I look like while I'm doing the poses. I had the misfortune of sitting next to the mirror (which, given that the walls are fully mirrored, would be hard not to do), and I couldn't help but glancing over to see which roll of fat was exposed. Sigh.

Anyhoo, I'm going home this weekend (yay!). And only one more week to Easter (double yay!). I cannot wait to eat some chocolate. I'm going to eat chocolate for breakfast, lunch and dinner on Easter Sunday. I'm sure I'll be sick for days, but I don't care!

A few days ago, I went to the mall with my mom. It was a particular busy day at the mall, and there weren't a whole lot of available parking spots. So we drove around a bit, and then we saw a guy pulling out. So I put my blinker on, and waited for him to leave. Then, this stupid biatch came barreling in and took the spot! I was so pissed. So I rolled down the window and yelled "Stupid biatch!" (minus the "a")

I know, I know ... that was not the most mature thing to do. I was just so mad! What gives her the right to take my spot?

My mother was mortified. Now, I never curse in front of my mom, but I couldn't help it. It just blurted out. Of course, then we got all nervous, like, what if they come after us, or I get to my car to find four flat tires? I'm really a chickensh*t at heart.

So I'll try to keep my anger in check next time, but it's so frustrating. I hate it when people just do what they want, with no consideration for others. Must be because they don't read or speak English.

I'd love to say that I had such a great, jam-packed weekend that I have a ton to write about. Alas, I spent most of the weekend sick as a dog.

The weekend started off pretty well -- I dropped off my car for maintenance, then went to the doctor to get test results (everything's perfect), then got a facial at a new day spa. At some point between the facial and driving home, I hit a wall (figuratively, not literally). It was like "Bam!" My stomach felt like it had a brick in it. So I took it easy for the rest of the weekend and hoped it would go away with rest and light food. I woke up at around 4:30 this morning with a stomachache again, so I guess it hasn't gone away.

Anyway, all this is a long way of saying I won't be posting much over the next couple of days because I won't be doing much... But if anything exciting happens while I'm sitting on my couch, watching TV, I'll be sure to make the effort to share.

Hope everyone had a better weekend than I did!

I read my local paper every week, because I like to see what's going on in my town. I especially like to read the Letters to the Editor, because it's interesting to see what issues members of my community are thinking about.

In this week's letters to the editor was the following item:

To the editor:
I drive only in [city] because of a medical disability. I was born and raise in [city] and I can't help but notice the drastic changes that have taken place in my beloved city.
Demographically, our population has changed. I notice that a great deal of our residents either do not speak or read English. That is probably the reason why a majority of our traffic rules, which were passed to ensure our safety, are not followed by so many drivers and pedestrians.
Jaywalking has become epidemic. "Cross at the green and not in between" is a rule that has fallen into disuse. Double-parking is commonplace. I have often seen cars and other vehicles double-parked and no drivers behind the steering wheels. Crossing over main avenues at streets lacking traffic signal lights is a game of jeopardy because the view of oncoming traffic along our main thoroughfares is blocked by vans, trucks and SUVs.
Our public parking lots are being converted and will demand outrageous fees to park. I would like to know why these changes took place without a referendum of our residents. Why is the Parking Authority exercising absolute power?
It seems that our [city] residents have become so affluent that every household owns and operates three to four vehicles. I remember when a family owned one vehicle or no vehicle at all. Traffic rules were rarely disregarded. But today, anything goes. This is not progress, but a symbol of the general deterioration of the moral foundation of our society.
Father Giuseppe Orsini

Needless to say, I was not a happy camper. First, I have no idea what language has to do with jaywalking. And what does crossing in between streets have to do with the Parking Authority and public parking lots?

So, I wrote my own little letter to the editor. I'm sending it in today, so I hope it will be published either next week or the one after. Here's my response:

To the editor:
I was disheartened to read Father Giuseppe Orsini's letter to the editor from March 29.
In his letter, Father Orsini writes: "I notice that a great deal of our residents either do not speak or read English. That is probably the reason why a majority of our traffic rules ... are not followed by so many drivers and pedestrians. Jaywalking has become an epidemic."
One would hope that Father Orsini, as a man of the cloth, would not spew such prejudicial and spurious beliefs. There is no connection between language and etiquette or proper behavior.
I am a first-generation American, having immigrated here as a child. I speak fluent English, and am a contributing member of society. Have I ever jaywalked? Yes. Does it have anything to do with the language I speak? Absolutely not. To connect one thing with the other is a blatant attempt to justify his prejudicial beliefs.
As the national spokesperson for an Italian-American anti-bias foundation, Father Orsini should know better. It's comments like his that continue the kind of bias and intolerance he supposedly opposes.

I really hope they post it. I'll let you know.

La la la la la la la ... la ... la.

I went to Atlantic City this weekend, and I have a confession to make: I totally became a "lurker."

About halfway through the day, I noticed that there was this girl who seemed to always happen to sit near me. And she kept winning. So when she would get up, I'd take over her machine. Sometimes I'd be pretty open about it; other times, I'd pretend to walk away, and then would turn around and come back. And it worked! Up until then, I was losing everything. Then it turned around. I won about $300, which isn't my personal best, but considering I was playing quarter slots, not too shabby.

I know this probably breaks some sort of casino ethics (as if), but I couldn't help it. She didn't seem to notice, or if she did, she didn't say anything. It's not like I was taking her luck, because she was done with the machines.

So that's me, the lurker. Hey, we all got our issues.

James Blunt asked me to marry him! Ok, that's not true, but I got your attention, right?

The concert last night was amazing. My guest was on time, so we were in the front row. I was thisclose to James all night. He gave me some knowing glances all evening, as if to say, "I don't know who you are but I'm going to find a way to track you down so we can be together forever." Or something like that. He even shook my hand on the way out. I'm never washing my hand again. Ever. (My apologies to those of you who will be coming into contact with me in the future.)

I took lots of pics, and even some video, and I hope to post both soon. Do we make a nice couple? You be the judge. (And if you say something other than "Yes!!" with two exclamation points, you are no longer welcome to be around me and my soon-to-be-smelly hand.)

I won tickets to a private concert with James Blunt! It's taking place Thursday at the China Club in Manhattan, the same place where I went to see INXS.

Now let's just hope that my guest is going to be on time this time, and that I can be in the front row. Because how is James going to ask me to marry him if he doesn't see me?

I'll report back after the concert, hopefully with pics of James and me in a loving embrace. :-)

My brother has a dog, a black lab named Luna, who is positively insane. She's nuts, she is. But that's neither here nor there.

Last week, my brother's wife found a note at their door from the city health inspector, who had stopped by while they weren't home. The note asked them to call the health office the next day.

Turns out, a few weeks ago, my sister-in-law had gone to the dentist and had left Luna in the backyard -- the fenced-in backyard. While my sister was at the dentist, it started raining. Apparently, one of her neighbors called City Hall to complain that the dog had been left out in the rain.

The dog, people. The dog. Someone actually complained because the dog was left out in the rain.

Look, I love dogs just as much as the next person. I do. I'm scared of most of them, but I love them nonetheless. And I think Luna is just peachy-keen. I'm mush around her. But she's a dog. Where was the neighbor when homeless people were out in the rain? Did she call anyone to complain about that? What about all the kids that go hungry? Or live in foster homes for their entire childhood because they can't get adopted? How about them? Is "my neighbor left their dog out in the rain" really the cause you're going to go with? Really?

Everyone should just mind their own damn business. Luna is well fed, well taken care of, has a warm home to sleep in, and is loved by her family. She's much better off than millions of people, in this country alone. So let's say it's ok to leave a dog out in the rain for a couple of hours, shall we?

So I gave up chocolate for Lent. I figured the benefits would be twofold: I would fulfill my Catholic obligations; and I would stop eating chocolate, which would help me lose weight.

Here's the problem: Since I can't eat chocolate, I'm eating everything else! Normally, after lunch, I'd have a tiny piece of chocolate -- just enough to fulfill my desire. Now that I can't eat chocolate, I go to the vending machine and buy, say, Twizzlers -- but that doesn't quite do it. So then I go downstairs and buy Reese's Pieces, but that doesn't sate my desire for chocolate. So then I have some pretzels ... You get the picture. I'm going to wind up gaining weight by not eating chocolate!

I hope God's reading this. I need this "sacrifice" to be acknowledged when (if!) I reach the pearly gates...

Wow! "Crash" won for best movie! Didn't see that coming. Well I thought there might be an upset, but I was crossing my fingers for "Brokeback." Truth is, I'd be happy with whatever movie won -- all five were great picks (though I only saw a couple of them).

Jon Stewart -- shame he's already married. He is one hot dude. I think his intelligence and humor make him so attractive, right? It's certainly not the Robin Williamsesque body hair.

And George Clooney ... Who does self-deprecation better than he does? He's not married, and, frankly, I'd be fine if he were all Sasquatchy (that's a new word -- I'm copyrighting it). He is hot, hot, hot.

I loved the bits from Ben Stiller, and Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell. And the opening sequence? Four words: Hi-la-ri-ous.

All in all, it was a very enjoyable show. Now, if they could just ply the actors with some booze like they do at the Golden Globes, that would be a real party ...

I went to Stop & Shop yesterday after work. When I got home, my mother was standing at the door, waiting.

"You're late."

"I left a note this morning saying that I was going to Stop & Shop after work."

"I know. You were taking a long time."

"It's 6:15."

"Yeah."

Sigh. I need to sell my house ... soon.