Thursday, December 28, 2006

Last week I shared my list of Best of 2006. This week, I give you my list of the year's worst:

Song: "London Bridge," Fergie. "How come every time you come around, My London, London bridge, wanna go down like, London, London, London, wanna go down like, London, London, London, we goin’ down like..." Huh? You know, it takes a lot to beat Paris Hilton's "Stars are Blind" in this category...

Web site: PerezHilton.com. I'm sure it's not the worst site out there, but it's so horribly addictive -- and without any redeeming qualities (ain't it great?) -- that I can't stop!

TV show: "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip." No, it's not the worst show on TV, but it was the biggest disappointment. Maybe Aaron Sorkin should go back on drugs. (Sorry, that was mean.) I have loved, loved, loved every single one of his other shows, and I was so looking forward to this one. I mean, Matthew Perry, back on TV! How could I not love the show? But it's so obvious and preachy. It would help if I liked any of the characters on the show, but they're so, I don't know, unlikable. There's not one character I'd like to be "friends" with. What a letdown.

Movie: "The Breakup." That's two hours of my life I'll never get back. I didn't think it would be possible to make Vince Vaughn unappealing, but there you go.

Book: "The Alchemist." Yes, I know it didn't come out this year, but that's when I read it, so... And yes, millions of people have found it inspirational, blah blah blah. Bo-ring. I think it was the only book I read this year that I didn't like. And considering how many books I read, that's saying something.

Store: Sigh. Target. Y'all know why. Don't make me rehash the whole sordid tale.

Well, that's my list. And that's all for this year. I wish you all a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year. See you in 2007. Peace.

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

I hate Christmas, because when it's over, it means another year is upon us, which means another birthday is on its way. Eek.

Instead, I'm going to focus on the positive -- presents! I got the best presents this year! Yes, I know Christmas is about spending time with the family, but, hey, that's pretty much every weekend at our house. What's different about Christmas? Yes, that's right -- presents!

Here's a rundown of what I got (in no particular order):

Nike + iPod -- this is the coolest thing. I connect it to my sneakers and my iPod and it becomes a personal fitness trainer. It tracks how many miles I walk, how many calories I've burned, etc. It even "talks" to me, giving me motivational messages. Actually, it's a little creepy. LOL.

A beautiful silver bracelet, the proceeds of which were donated to ovarian cancer research. So it's a gift that gives twice. I tried to take a picture, but it kept giving too much flash, so you'll just have to take my word for it -- it's gorgeous.

"Tell No One," by Harlan Coben. I just started reading it, but it seems like a pretty good murder mystery so far.

A beautiful Pashmina shawl from the gals at work.

An iPod radio. It's an iPod player, it's an alarm clock -- it's iHome2Go!

A cake plate, a portable pie plate and a pie-crust shield. Trying to tell me something?

A 2007 "George W. Bushisms" daily calendar. That'd be 365 days of funny if it weren't 365 days of true.

A car emergency travel kit.

A box of Godiva.

Good job everyone! I don't know how you're going to top that next year ... you've set the bar pretty high. Better start planning now ...

To see the Diarrhea family Christmas extravaganza, click here. Don't let the first pic frighten you!
Grrr. People are rude.

So I'm at work the other day (Friday, to be exact), and some dude from another department comes over to our group and proceeds to tell each person individually that there's a bunch of food in his area. That is, he told everyone except me. Instead, he told the person in the cubicle in front of mine that she was free to "tell your friend, because I'm not going to" ... and he punctuated it with a dismissive wave of his hand. Nice.

Now, I just want to point out that I don't know this guy. I mean, I've seen him around, but I've never so much as spoken two words to him. We're not in the same group, and our two groups never have any reason for interaction. I've just never given him much thought, good or bad. So I was a little taken aback, since it was such an overt way of dismissing me. It's not that he forgot -- it's that he wanted to make a point of not inviting me.

So I mentioned this to someone else in the office. I wanted to know if I'd said or done something of which I had no idea. Turns out, the guy dislikes me because I don't speak Spanish to other Spanish-speaking people in the office. Seriously. He's ticked off because I speak English in the office, even to other Spanish-speaking people.

Is that wrong? Why should I be forced to speak Spanish with someone just because we both speak the language? First of all, I can be a bit self-conscious about my Spanish. I've been here most of my life, so even though I consider myself fluent in Spanish, I recognize that I make a few mistakes, and I know for certain I have an American accent, so I tend to shy away from speaking Spanish to someone I don't know, for fear they'll make fun of me. And second of all, why is that wrong? If I know you, and I choose to speak Spanish to you, fine. But if I don't, should that be held against me? Does that make me a bad person? a person unworthy of free food?

I don't think so, but this guy obviously does. I won't lose any sleep over it, but I have to admit that it did bother me a bit. It just seems so idiotic, and it did sting a bit to be singled out in front of coworkers.

Am I wrong?

Friday, December 22, 2006

2006, we hardly knew ya. Can you believe the year is almost over? It seemed like just yesterday I was sitting on my couch, trying to come up with a name for this blog. Maria Farteria -- that's just stupid. But Maria Diarrhea? Pure genius.

Anyhoo, here's my list of the year's best:

Song: "SexyBack" -- Because, seriously, those other boys don't know how to act. Yeah.

Web site (besides this one, of course): YouTube -- Endless fun.

TV Show (tie): "Grey's Anatomy," "Survivor" -- I loved "Grey"'s for its watercooler-ness, and "Survivor" for introducing the world to Yul, the hottest ... castaway ... ever.

Movie: "An Inconvenient Truth" -- Al Gore and PowerPoints, whodathunk that would be the hottest pairing (pardon the pun) in 2006?

Book: "Wicked." Seriously, read this book. I can't wait to see the play. (Hint. Hint.)

Store: Border's, because they have Seattle's Best Coffee, which serves America's best hot chocolate. It's yum-oh.

Next week, find out my pics for the worst of 2006.

Thursday, December 21, 2006

I can't believe it's almost Christmas and it's 52 degrees outside! It's just not right. I'm sorry, but I can't get into a holiday mood when it's so warm outside I don't have to wear a scarf or gloves. I just can't. It just doesn't seem holiday-ish.

I never thought I'd say this, but I hope it snows before Christmas. I hope I wake up on Christmas Eve to see at least two inches of snow. They call it "White Christmas" for a reason ...

Monday, December 18, 2006

My mom has a bird (name unknown - we just call him "the damn bird") that's about 7 years old. For about two of those years, the bird has been kept in the basement apartment, where my sister also resides.

My sister smokes over a pack a day. When she's home and on the computer, she's smoking pretty consistently.

And yet, somehow, the bird lives on.

The way I see it, this is proof that the warnings about secondhand smoke are a load of bunk. I mean, if SHS is so terribly, horribly unsafe, why is the bird still alive? I'm not saying smoking is good for you, or even that secondhand smoke isn't disgustingly annoying if you don't smoke (and sometimes even if you do), but if a little ol' bird can survive two years of nonstop SHS, can it really be so bad?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Oooh, I almost forgot the coolest thing. When we were driving back from Disney, we saw the space shuttle launch. It was so neat! Granted, we were pretty far away, so all we say was the vague outline of a rocket and this humongous flame out the back, but it was still pretty darn cool.
Well, I'm back from FLA. I had a great time, though it wasn't as warm as I thought and hoped it would be. On Friday, it was in the 50s! Now, I'm sorry, but when you go to Florida, you expect warmth, even in December.

Oh, ok, I won't complain. After all, I was in Florida. And I did have a fantastic time. I got there on Wednesday, and pretty much just vegged out and caught up with my friend Anita. On Thursday, we celebrated Anita's bday by getting massages and facials at a nearby spa. Sweet! On Friday, we vegged out some more, then drove to Disney on Friday night. We spent Saturday in the Magic Kingdom, then drove back Sunday morning. More vegging ensued, and I got home yesterday afternoon.

All in all, it was a really nice vacation -- got some rest, had lots o' fun, ate waaaay too much food (why do I always wind up saying that?).

If you're interested in seeing pics, click here.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

I'm off to Florida tomorrow -- yippee! I'll be sure to say hi to Mickey and Goofy for you.

Friday, December 01, 2006

My Christmas wish list:

Tickets to "Wicked"
Pie storage container (so I can travel with my pies ... and no, that wasn't meant to sound dirty...)
Glass cake dome
Any iPod accessories -- I'd love one of those iPod radio/docking stations, in white. Oooh, and I'd really love an iPod remote, where I can control everything from the headphones ...
Any trivia board game, except Trivial Pursuit -- I've got pretty much every version of that one

Of course, if you're not sure, a gift card to Kohl's (not Target) will always work. See, I'm an easy person to shop for.

Now what are you waiting for? Get shopping!