Wow, it's been almost two years that I've been writing this blog! Time sure does fly.

I thought it would be neat to update some of the stories I've written. I know you're just itching to know what ever happened with that priest. And how will you ever live without knowing whether I hooked up with J.D. (in my dreams)?

Fear not, friends. All your questions are about to be answered. (And by all, I mean all, because, come on, what else are you thinking about all day if not me?)

The Tale of the Prejudiced Priest: After my response to his letter to the editor, I never heard another peep. My mom told me he was really old and really ill, so it could be he passed away. Either way, our feud is over ... for now.

J.D. and I are over. It was fun while it lasted, but I’ve got a new obsession, er, I mean, interest.

I still have not shopped at Target. Honestly, this boycott lasted waaaay longer than even I thought it would. I’m pretty darn proud of myself. And I’ve saved a ton of money, too, now that I don’t go shopping every weekend.

I've sort of giving up on acting. It’s not like Bayonne is the hub of the acting universe. There’s a class here at night at the local high school, but it sounds like it’s more for teens. I’ll keep looking around, but I think I’m done with this one. I may take up tennis again, though.

My foray into the world of New Jersey professionals was short-lived. Everyone was nice, but the events were pretty far from town, and honestly, I don’t want to try that hard to meet new people. If any more events come to Bayonne, I’ll go, but I’m not going to New Brunswick to feel awkward in front of a group of strangers. I can do that here at home.

I’ve kept half of my New Year’s resolutions. You decide which ones ... shouldn’t be too hard, if you know me at all.

My complaint-free week lasted about three days. I’ve tried to continue it, but it’s just too hard. Who doesn’t ever complain at all, anyway? Not gonna happen, my friends.

My brother’s dog lives.

My mom’s bird lives.

I’m now worth $2.24, thanks to inflation.

And, of course, I’m still watching way too much television.

So that’s it. That’s the scintillating recap. Hope you enjoyed it. I’m off now, to do stuff so I have things to blog about. Ok, we all know that by "stuff" I mean "watch TV," right? Yeah, I thought so. Some things never change.

Ok, so I'm finally getting around to watching movies I've been meaning to see but haven't had time to in the past year or so. I rented two this weekend. The first was "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest." Pure crap. I'm not even going to write any more about it.

I also saw "The Devil Wears Prada." Yes, it's a chick flick, but it's a good chick flick. And Meryl Streep is just amazing, natch. She really makes the movie. Emily Blunt, who plays one of the assistants, is also really good. Very funny. I recommend it. It's not the best movie ever made, but it's not a waste of time (like that pirates movie ... ugh).

I rented two movies this weekend: "The Departed" and "Stranger than Fiction." I highly recommend both movies.

"The Departed," the movie that finally got Scorcese his first Oscar, is an über-violent remake of the Hong Kong thriller "Internal Affairs." The film takes place in Boston, where Frank Costello, an Irish mob boss, implants Colin Sullivan as a mole inside the Massachusetts State Police. At the same time, Officer Billy Costigan has infiltrated Costello's crew. When the two catch wind of the other's involvement, they attempt to discover each other's identities.

Did I mention it was violent? I'm a bit squeamish, so some parts were hard for me to look at -- and, in fact, I did have to look away during some scenes -- but it was totally worth it. The script and acting are top-notch. And I'm glad Scorcese was rewarded for this movie -- he totally deserved it. If you can stomach the violence, do watch it.

"Stranger Than Fiction" is strange indeed. It's about Harold Crick, an IRS agent whose life is transformed when he hears a mysterious voice narrating his life. With the help of a literature professor, Harold discovers he's the main character of a novel-in-progress and that the voice belongs to an eccentric author famous for killing her main characters in creative ways.

And now you're probably thinking, "Huh?" Yeah, that’s about right. It's definitely a quirky movie, but it's thoroughly entertaining, and Will Ferrell really sells it. He's great in his first dramatic role. I totally found him believable. I also thought Maggie Gyllenhall, who plays his love interest, was fantastic. I never really saw her in anything before, and honestly never though that much of her, but she did a great job with this role. Oh, and Emma Thompson is fabulous, as always. If you can let go and just accept the nutty premise, you're sure to enjoy the movie.

I plan on seeing "The 300" this weekend, which looks like it can either be a really, really good movie or a really, really awful movie. I'm sure it's the latter, but as long as it's a good awful movie, I'll be happy.

Well, so much for my complaint-free week. I tried. I really, really tried. And I was good for almost three days! (Which is, what, three weeks in dog years?)

I've been good. There were times -- many, many times -- I had to bite my tongue, but I was good. And I even felt my mood and my entire composure change. No complaining for me, kind sir! I am a ray of sunshine and happiness!

And then I called the phone company tech support.

Look, I think it's great that the folks in India have gotten themselves some great jobs. That's wonderful. Everyone's gotta make a living, right?

What I don't think is great is that they're put in positions of customer support, where they have to talk to people on the phone. And honestly, I'd feel the same way about it if it were people in Spain. If they can't speak English properly, then they need to not be in a position where I'm relying on them to help me verbally.

The tech support person was very nice, but it was like banging my head against a wall. Say this very, very slowly to get an idea of what I mean: "Ok ... now ... in ... the ... box ... type ... this ... in ... Are ... you ... ready? ... Ok ... here ... we ... go ... Type ... in ... h ... as ... in ... Henry ... t ... as ... in ... Tom ... another ... t ... as ... in ... tom ... p ... as ... in ... peter ... and ... now ... a ... semicolon ..." Um, that's a colon. "Alright ... let's ... start ... again ..." Now deal with that for 2-1/2 hours. I kid you not. It took me from 8 to 10:30 to reconnect my DSL modem.

Yes, I know I'm complaining, but I gotta get it all in before I start again. Ok, here I go...

My, isn't the sky particularly shiny and bright today?

I read an article in People magazine about a pastor somewhere in Iowa (or some other such state I've never visited or plan to visit) who is passing out a free "Complaint-Free Bracelet" -- similar to the Live Strong bracelets, but in purple.

The article got me thinking about how often I complain ... and boy, do I complain! So I'm going to try to forego complaining for one whole week.

It's been half a day already, and let me tell you, it's a lot harder than I thought! (Not that I'm complaining...) There have already been at least three our four times that I really had to bite my tongue.

I've also found that, sans complaining, I've talked a lot less today than I normally do. That's pretty sad, isn't it?

Of course, I'm still finding my way around this. I'm sure as the week goes along, I'll come up with rules and exceptions. For example, if I say something sarcastically, like "Boy, I'm sure glad that person didn't cut me off" after someone cuts me off, does that count? (I think it does.) Also, am I allowed to complain on this blog? (I think I should be.) Those kinds of things ...

So we'll see how it goes. I'll be sure to post updates here ... without complaining, of course.

It's been a long time since I've done something stupid.

Ok, not that long, but seriously, it's been a while since I've left the house with two different color shoes on, or walked the looooong hallway to the office without realizing my shirt was up around my neck (don't ask). I mean, it wasn't too long ago that a week wouldn't go by without me walking into the glass doors at 7-11, thinking they were open, or forgetting to close the sunroof during a rainstorm.

That said, I'm in for it big-time. If it's been this long, there's a lot of stupid-time to make up. I wonder what I should expect. Will I get all the way to work before realizing I haven't changed out of my pajamas? Will I show up to work, only to look down and see pink, fuzzy slippers, instead of shoes, on my feet?

I'm a little nervous...