Monday, October 03, 2005

I feel like such a moe-ron.

At acting class tonight, our instructor, Deborah, made us do a "trust exercise." Sigh. You know this is not going to turn out well...

So this is how it went: I had to stand at one end of the room while my classmates stood at the other end. I then had to close my eyes and walk towards my classmates, without hesitation and with the full knowledge that they wouldn’t let me walk into the wall.

With the exception of Sarah, I don’t know my classmates all that well. But I do know this much: They will not let me walk into the wall. Because they’re normal human beings. Like me. Ok, I take that back. I’m a freak.

I knew I was going to have a problem with this. When I previously took a class with Deborah, she made us do the exercise and I totally freaked out. So my hyperventilation really did not come as a surprise. What did sort of surprise me was just how scared I was. Before she even called on me, I started crying. I could barely lift my legs from the ground to start walking. And when I did, I kept my clasped hands up by my chest, scrunched up my face out of fear, and just kept chanting "Please don’t let me hit the wall. Please don’t let me hit the wall." Seriously. That’s pathetic.

I am going to practice this until I conquer the fear. Er, scratch that. I know my friends and family. They’ll just trip me. Or push me into the wall. Oh, please. Like you’ve never met them (or are one of them). You know it’s true!

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