Maria Diarrhea's Moviewatch:

I know, I've been watching a lot of movies lately. I'd like to blame it on the writers strike, but it's probably more because I don't have a life. Either way, you win!

"Untraceable": Grey, you definitely don't want to watch this one. Actually, that pretty much goes for everyone else. It's a good concept, as far as semi-scary thrillers go, but the delivery leaves you wanting. It's missing something. I don't know what -- hey, I'm not a filmmaker -- but it could have been really good and instead it's just eh.

"The Last King of Scotland": I've wanted to watch this for a while, but it was one of those movies that always seemed to be pushed down on the list whenever a new one came out. I'm glad I finally saw it, but it was disturbing, more so because it's true. Idi Amin was one sick, crazy dude, and I can see why Forest Whitaker won the Oscar. But for me, James McAvoy made the movie. He was absolutely amazing and really made you understand how an "innocent" person could buy into Amin's story and charm, and nearly become just like him. Two thumbs up. (Yes, even the bad thumb.)

"Superman Returns": Yes, I know I'm a couple of years behind, but this is another one of those movies that got put off and off. It wasn't half bad. I couldn't really see Brandon Routh in the role until I saw the movie, then realized he was perfect in the role. I think he did Superman proud. But I still can't get over the whole Clark-Kent-in-glasses thing -- you know, that they can't tell it's Superman because he's got glasses on. Or that he can just rip off his clothes and he's got his Superman outfit, complete with a cape, underneath. Or that no one questions why Clark seems to be gone every single time Superman's there. I know, I've got to let it go, but it's a big reason why I was never into the whole Superman thing. Like my sister said, if he'd just wear the Zorro mask, it'd be fine. Still, the movie was ok.

"We Are Marshall": I'm not a football fan, but for some reason I love football movies, and this was a really good one. Based on the true story of a Texas town that lost its entire college football team in a plane accident in the early '70s, it's a typical sports story -- team struggles, team comes back from diversity, team and town learn life lesson -- but the fact that it's based on a true story makes it much more poignant. I'm also not a huge fan of Matthew McConaughey, but he's pretty good here. Now Matthew Fox -- wowza. Not only is he a total fox, but dude can really act. He made the movie for me. And yes, I cried. What of it?

Speaking of football, the Super Bowl is this Sunday. You know what that means -- commercials! I'll have my annual report of my faves shortly thereafter. I know, you're excited now, aren't you?

Maria Diarrhea's Moviewatch:

"The Bucket List": I love Morgan Freeman, but I'm not a big fan of Jack Nicholson. To me, he's a slightly less hammy Al Pacino but a more talented Harrison Ford. It's not that he's not a talented actor -- he is. I think that, just like Ford, he has a knack for picking the same roles over and over, and those roles seem to suit his talents best. He was great in "The Departed," but he was again playing the same role he always seems to play. One notable exception from recent memory was "As Good as it Gets." That was one time I watched him and thought, "man, he was good." Ok, I also really liked "Something's Gotta Give" -- in fact, I loved that movie -- but that was despite the fact he was in it. I love Diane Keaton, and the story really reverberated for me.

But I digress. I really enjoyed "The Bucket List." Yes, it plays on your heartstrings. And yes, it's pretty much contrived, sugary shlock and you know exactly where the plot is going. But it was good, clean fun. I laughed, I cried. And cried. And cried. (I'm such a sucker.) I recommend it, but it's safe to rent it when it comes out on DVD. There's no real need to rush out and see it in the theater.

A movie you should see in a theater, however, is "Cloverfield." I knew very little about it -- just a vague outline of the plot and the fact that J.J. Abrams was involved. I'm glad I didn't know more. It took me by surprise just how much I liked this movie. I won't reveal anything about the plot, because I think it's more fun if you don't know what it's about, but if you've watched Abrams' "Lost," you know it's not all what it seems at first. If you can put up with the movie's first annoying 20 minutes, you'll be pleasantly surprised. I did get a little queasy at the camerawork. I understand why directors use handheld cameras to convey a sense of movement and realism, but dang, it was thisclose to making me sick! I had to close my eyes several times just to get my equilibrium back. All in all, though, it was worth it. "Cloverfield" is an original movie with some great ideas and funny dialogue. And that's all I'm gonna say about that.

Coming soon (or as soon as the powers-that-be release these on DVD): "Michael Clayton," "Reservation Road" and "3:10 to Yuma." I'm open to other suggestions...

So my colleague Chris, he of the men's engagement ring fame, wanted me to set the record straight regarding the "Office" DVDs I've been watching.

I did not rent them, as I deceptively claimed. I borrowed them from Chris, who will from now on be known as "Poopyhead." And yes, I know he will read this. And no, I don't care, because he is a poopyhead.

So we had our office holiday party last week (you know, after the holidays) at a Barolo, a really nice restaurant in the Village. If you're in the City and want to have a nice Italian dinner, I recommend this place. (And no, they didn't pay me to say that.)

The food was really good, and served buffet style. For appetizers, we had crostini with salmon and roasted red pepper spread; goat cheese puffs; shots of buttersquash soup garnished with lobster; rosemary chicken tenders on a skewer with peppers; and beef tenderloin on a skewer. I think there was a mushroom appetizer or two in there, but I passed on those (natch). For dinner, we had penne alla vodka; spinach ravioli; risotto with wine sauce and grapes; Chilean sea bass with tomato, black olive and caper sauce; carved roast beef; roasted potatoes; mixed veggies; asparagus; and two types of salad. Then, for dessert, they brought a plate of mini-pastries to each table -- I was so good, I only had three, but trust me, I could have eaten the whole plate!

I didn't take my camera with me, but I was still able to wrangle some pics from other partygoers. I could not let this posting go without showing you this:



Ahh, the antler lady. God bless her. But hey, if nothing else, she's got the holiday spirit.

Here's a pic of the gorgeous gals in my department:



From left to right, it's Tasha, Vanessa, moi and Heather.

Don't you wish you worked with us? Don't ya?

So remember the puzzle I got for Christmas that I was so excited about -- the one of the U.S. Capitol building?

Folks, it nearly killed me. (Hey, maybe that was the whole idea? Nah, my mom loves me ... I think.)

Anyway, it took me six days to finish the darn thing. And we're talking about more than an hour at a time -- sometimes closer to two.

I was just about to give up on doing it when everything clicked, literally. I was able to connect two pieces that made me realize how everything worked, and it just snowballed from there.



It's kinda neat, actually, and I'm definitely going to get another one. I'm just gonna give it a little while ...

Click here to see my road to near-insanity.

Maria Diarrhea's Moviewatch

"No Country for Old Men": I don't want to give too much away, so I'll keep the description brief. The movie takes place in the 1980s in Texas. When a hunter (Josh Brolin, in what may be the best performance of his career) stumbles upon a drug deal gone wrong, he is tracked by a vicious, psychopathic killer (a brilliant Javier Bardem). Right behind them is a local sheriff (Tommy Lee Jones -- love him!), who's trying to catch the killer and save the hunter. The movie is really well done, if a little slow-moving, and I can see why it's on a lot of critics' Top 10 lists. Be warned, though: it's pretty gory. I watched most of the movie through my fingers. If you're squeamish, you might want to pass on this one.

"National Treasure: Book of Secrets": This is the sequel to "National Treasure," which I did also see in the theater and which was surprisingly good. In this movie, historian/treasure hunter Ben Gates is told that his great-great grandfather was complicit in Abraham Lincoln's assassination and tries to clear his great-great grandfather's name. To do this, he must follow clues that take him around the world. It's a mix of "The Da Vinci Code" and "Indiana Jones." It can be a bit cheesy, and you have to suspend disbelief at times, but it's thoroughly enjoyable.

"Superbad": It was superbad. I laughed more during "National Treasure."

"Infamous": I rented this one, and am so glad I did. It tells the story of writer Truman Capote, who in 1959 went to a small Kansas town to research his book "In Cold Blood," about two convicted murderers. I knew Capote was a writer, but that's about all I knew. Now I want to know more. Capote is played by Toby Jones, whom I've never heard of before (but have since found out he is the voice of Dobby in "Harry Potter"!). He is fantastic in this role. And Sandra Bullock is really good as Capote's friend Harper Lee. I know "Capote," another film that came out before this one, got all the accolades, but I haven't seen that one (though now I plan to). I thoroughly recommend this one. I thought it'd be boring, but it's not. If you've got a couple of hours and don't have anything else to watch, give this one a shot.

"The Marine": Ok, don't blame me for this one. My sister rented it and I was bored... It's total cheese. The plot is stupid, the acting is awful, it's entire predictable and completely ridiculous. But you know what? I enjoyed it. It's totally mindless fun.

"The Office": So I know this isn't a movie, but I wanted to catch up on the TV series. I never get to watch it live because it's opposite two shows I watch religiously, so I rented the first two seasons on DVD. If you've seen the British version with the genius Ricky Gervais, you'll like the American version. (And if you haven't seen the British version with the genius Ricky Gervais, what are you waiting for? Rent it. Now.) This show cracks me up. It's uncomfortable to watch sometimes; I often find myself cringing with embarrassment for some of the people. But I guess that's the point. I'm just glad I don't work there!

So that's it, that's my first Maria Diarrhea Moviewatch. Let me know if there are any movies you think I absolutely have to watch. From what I can tell, the writers' strike isn't going to end any time soon, so I have plenty of free time on my hands.

There was a time when I'd go to the movie theater once, sometimes twice, a week. I loved everything about it -- watching the movie on a giant screen, getting away from life for a little while, the popcorn ...

But somewhere over the last couple of years, I've really soured on it. People are too loud and annoying. There are usually too many kids. And you have to mortgage your house just to buy the ticket.

So little by little, I stopped going and started renting DVDs instead. I would rent about two or three a week and just sit on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn, a box of Goobers and a bag of Twizzlers (and, of course, a diet soda...)

But then I even stopped that, because that started getting expensive, too, and I was in serious danger of becoming a hermit. And let's face it, as you get older, your attention span isn't quiet what it used to be. What? You want me to watch something for two hours straight?

But thanks to the WGA strike, I've rediscovered my love of movies.

Since the strike (go, writers!), there hasn't really been anything to watch on TV. I could pick up a book, but the Harry Potter series is over and there's just so many James Patterson books a girl can read. So instead of taking the opportunity to expand my cultural horizons (bo-ring), I've been catching up on movies instead.

Until the strike is over -- at which point I'll lock myself in the house for a week straight and make mad, passionate love to my remote control -- I have no choice but to explore the best (and worst) offerings of the silver screen, and I'll share my thoughts on them with you. I'm not an art-house chick, so don't be surprised to see some low-brow flicks on the list. To me, if the movie makes me laugh, cry or hungry, it's done its job.

I shared some reviews with you last week, but I've decided to make it a standard feature with a cool new name, Maria Diarrhea's Moviewatch. I know, I'm brilliant.

So watch out for more reviews, coming soon.

Ok, this is so bizarre ...

I was going to take my laptop to the computer guy tomorrow so he could fix it, so I turned my laptop on this morning to test it, and it's working perfectly!

So no need to worry -- Maria Diarrhea is back, baby.

Well, so much for my resolutions...

My laptop died this morning. It might be a little while before I fix it, so unless I find time at work to blog, I may be missing for a smidge. I'll try to do the best I can, because, you know, everything I have to say is just so fascinating...

I'll post with an update as soon as I have one. Until then, try to hold it together without me, k?

I told myself I wouldn't make any resolutions this year. What's the point, when they're usually broken by Jan. 2? Instead, I share with you my:

2008 Blogging Resolutions

1. I resolve to blog at least three times per week.

2. I resolve to make at least one of those weekly entries interesting.

3. I resolve to read and reply to all comments to my postings.

4. I resolve not to read the comments on any page but my own -- especially not on general consumer sites. Where has general courtesy gone?!?

5. I resolve to keep this year's resolutions no matter what.

6. I resolve to try to keep the resolutions from last year that I didn't really follow through on. (I'll let you guess which ones I didn't keep. Be nice.)

If the past is any indication, I'll be really, really good with these ... for about two weeks, then I'll give up and decide to blog about how resolutions are useless anyway and why anyone even makes them is beyond me.

To all of you reading this -- and even to those who aren't cool enough to be reading this -- I hope 2008 brings you health, wealth, peace and joy!