I know what you're thinking: Who's that foxy lady?

It's me! I figured it was time to update my pic. This one's a bit more recent -- my hair's longer, darker. I'm not quite as tan. I've aged a few years.

So now, when you close your eyes and dream of me, the image will be more accurate. :-)

Big news, big news: I'm going to blog for The Huffington Post! I know!

Beginning the end of May, I'm going to write about pop culture, entertainment and the media. Of course, I won't forget about you guys, my loyal fans. I'll be sure to give you all the URL for the blog once it's up.

Oh, and if you ever have any ideas for posts, please do pass along. I'm sure I'll constantly be on the lookout for stories. So if you see anything in the news that strikes you as odd or curious, or an issue that hasn't been covered to death in other places, drop me a note.

Woo hoo! :-)

I went to a bridal shower yesterday. Ugh. Is there anything worse than a bridal shower? First of all, it puts such pressure on us happy, er, I mean unmarried, gals. Second, it's totally cheesy. And third, it's really just one big gift-giving extravaganza, isn't it?

And you know, I've gone to so many of these over the years -- bridal showers, weddings, baby showers. I've spent so much money on these things, and I'll never get any of that back.

So I've decided that when I turn 40 -- which, is a looong, looong way away, of course (bite that tongue) -- I'm going to have a huge birthday party, and I'm going to register for gifts. And if anyone thinks that's tacky, just consider it my non-wedding wedding, ok? I mean, why should we single gals always be the ones to lose out? Why can't I furnish my home with gifts from others? I would totally love this KitchenAid mixer. Why should I have to spend $50,000 on a wedding to get it?

So keep an eye out for that invitation. And if you're not sure what to give me, remember: cash goes with everything.

I'm soooo moving to Mauritania:

"In Mauritania, to make a girl big and plump, 'gavage' -- a borrowed French word from the practice of fattening of geese for foie gras -- starts early. Obesity has long been the ideal of beauty, signaling a family's wealth in a land repeatedly wracked by drought.

"Many women turn to a more scientific method of weight gain, using foreign-made appetite-inducing pills."

Hah! Amateurs. I don't need no stinking pills. Man, I'd be a queen in Mauritania.

They say abstinence is good for the soul. No, I'm not talking about that kind of abstinence, necessarily, but just abstaining from anything, for a set period of time.

Like giving up chocolate for Lent. It's not easy, but it's satisfying, because it's a challenge, and once it's over and you can finally eat chocolate, it's really, really, really good.

So I've decided that, every month, I'm going to give up something, anything. I've done chocolate, so I won't be going there again. (Plus, it tastes really, really, really good.) I'll probably start with scratch-off lottery tickets next month. Good lord, those things suck me in. It's only $1 here, $2 there, but it quickly adds up to 50 bucks a month, or more, and that money really could be better used in other ways.

I'll still do my annual no-TV-for-summer thing, but I'll need something else. Any ideas? And don't say caffeine ... unless you want some really, really nasty blog postings. :-)

Amy Winehouse.

If you haven't heard of this British singer, do yourself a favor and check her out. My current fave is "Rehab": "They tried to make me to go to rehab, but I said no, no, no."

Ok, so it's not exactly relatable (at least not to me), but once you hear it, you can't get it out of your head. Trust me. Have a listen, and let me know what you think.

I hope everyone had a happy Easter/Passover! I finally had chocolate! And some yummy chocolate, at that. I think I'm going to give up something else next year, like scratch-off tickets. They're so terribly addictive.

Ooh, I saw "Blades of Glory" this weekend. Very funny. I love Will Ferrell in pretty much anything (I'm sure I'm one of three people who thought "A Night at the Roxbury" was freakin' hysterical), so I'm a bit biased, but I did think this was very funny. There are some instant-classic lines here: "I made these leather diaper bags for Faith Hill." WTF?!?

The only thing I wasn't crazy about was the mild homophobia. Pretty much the entire plot was homophobic. But if you can let that go and just run with it, I think you'll enjoy it. But wait for the video. This is definitely one of those movies.

I saw "Casino Royale" this weekend. Wow, what a thrill ride!

From the moment of the first chase, I knew Daniel Craig was a great choice as Bond. Then again, I knew from the moment I saw "Layer Cake," another great Craig movie.

God, he was so good as Bond. (And it didn't hurt that he looked yummy ... way to bulk up your body, Craig.) I totally forgot anyone had embodied that character before. He completely reinvigorated the franchise. Bond really had become a caricature, and Craig embodied him with emotions and a backstory that was believable and even somewhat relatable. And did I mention he was hot?

A big thumbs-up on this one.

Wow, it's been almost two years that I've been writing this blog! Time sure does fly.

I thought it would be neat to update some of the stories I've written. I know you're just itching to know what ever happened with that priest. And how will you ever live without knowing whether I hooked up with J.D. (in my dreams)?

Fear not, friends. All your questions are about to be answered. (And by all, I mean all, because, come on, what else are you thinking about all day if not me?)

The Tale of the Prejudiced Priest: After my response to his letter to the editor, I never heard another peep. My mom told me he was really old and really ill, so it could be he passed away. Either way, our feud is over ... for now.

J.D. and I are over. It was fun while it lasted, but I’ve got a new obsession, er, I mean, interest.

I still have not shopped at Target. Honestly, this boycott lasted waaaay longer than even I thought it would. I’m pretty darn proud of myself. And I’ve saved a ton of money, too, now that I don’t go shopping every weekend.

I've sort of giving up on acting. It’s not like Bayonne is the hub of the acting universe. There’s a class here at night at the local high school, but it sounds like it’s more for teens. I’ll keep looking around, but I think I’m done with this one. I may take up tennis again, though.

My foray into the world of New Jersey professionals was short-lived. Everyone was nice, but the events were pretty far from town, and honestly, I don’t want to try that hard to meet new people. If any more events come to Bayonne, I’ll go, but I’m not going to New Brunswick to feel awkward in front of a group of strangers. I can do that here at home.

I’ve kept half of my New Year’s resolutions. You decide which ones ... shouldn’t be too hard, if you know me at all.

My complaint-free week lasted about three days. I’ve tried to continue it, but it’s just too hard. Who doesn’t ever complain at all, anyway? Not gonna happen, my friends.

My brother’s dog lives.

My mom’s bird lives.

I’m now worth $2.24, thanks to inflation.

And, of course, I’m still watching way too much television.

So that’s it. That’s the scintillating recap. Hope you enjoyed it. I’m off now, to do stuff so I have things to blog about. Ok, we all know that by "stuff" I mean "watch TV," right? Yeah, I thought so. Some things never change.

Ok, so I'm finally getting around to watching movies I've been meaning to see but haven't had time to in the past year or so. I rented two this weekend. The first was "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest." Pure crap. I'm not even going to write any more about it.

I also saw "The Devil Wears Prada." Yes, it's a chick flick, but it's a good chick flick. And Meryl Streep is just amazing, natch. She really makes the movie. Emily Blunt, who plays one of the assistants, is also really good. Very funny. I recommend it. It's not the best movie ever made, but it's not a waste of time (like that pirates movie ... ugh).

I rented two movies this weekend: "The Departed" and "Stranger than Fiction." I highly recommend both movies.

"The Departed," the movie that finally got Scorcese his first Oscar, is an über-violent remake of the Hong Kong thriller "Internal Affairs." The film takes place in Boston, where Frank Costello, an Irish mob boss, implants Colin Sullivan as a mole inside the Massachusetts State Police. At the same time, Officer Billy Costigan has infiltrated Costello's crew. When the two catch wind of the other's involvement, they attempt to discover each other's identities.

Did I mention it was violent? I'm a bit squeamish, so some parts were hard for me to look at -- and, in fact, I did have to look away during some scenes -- but it was totally worth it. The script and acting are top-notch. And I'm glad Scorcese was rewarded for this movie -- he totally deserved it. If you can stomach the violence, do watch it.

"Stranger Than Fiction" is strange indeed. It's about Harold Crick, an IRS agent whose life is transformed when he hears a mysterious voice narrating his life. With the help of a literature professor, Harold discovers he's the main character of a novel-in-progress and that the voice belongs to an eccentric author famous for killing her main characters in creative ways.

And now you're probably thinking, "Huh?" Yeah, that’s about right. It's definitely a quirky movie, but it's thoroughly entertaining, and Will Ferrell really sells it. He's great in his first dramatic role. I totally found him believable. I also thought Maggie Gyllenhall, who plays his love interest, was fantastic. I never really saw her in anything before, and honestly never though that much of her, but she did a great job with this role. Oh, and Emma Thompson is fabulous, as always. If you can let go and just accept the nutty premise, you're sure to enjoy the movie.

I plan on seeing "The 300" this weekend, which looks like it can either be a really, really good movie or a really, really awful movie. I'm sure it's the latter, but as long as it's a good awful movie, I'll be happy.

Well, so much for my complaint-free week. I tried. I really, really tried. And I was good for almost three days! (Which is, what, three weeks in dog years?)

I've been good. There were times -- many, many times -- I had to bite my tongue, but I was good. And I even felt my mood and my entire composure change. No complaining for me, kind sir! I am a ray of sunshine and happiness!

And then I called the phone company tech support.

Look, I think it's great that the folks in India have gotten themselves some great jobs. That's wonderful. Everyone's gotta make a living, right?

What I don't think is great is that they're put in positions of customer support, where they have to talk to people on the phone. And honestly, I'd feel the same way about it if it were people in Spain. If they can't speak English properly, then they need to not be in a position where I'm relying on them to help me verbally.

The tech support person was very nice, but it was like banging my head against a wall. Say this very, very slowly to get an idea of what I mean: "Ok ... now ... in ... the ... box ... type ... this ... in ... Are ... you ... ready? ... Ok ... here ... we ... go ... Type ... in ... h ... as ... in ... Henry ... t ... as ... in ... Tom ... another ... t ... as ... in ... tom ... p ... as ... in ... peter ... and ... now ... a ... semicolon ..." Um, that's a colon. "Alright ... let's ... start ... again ..." Now deal with that for 2-1/2 hours. I kid you not. It took me from 8 to 10:30 to reconnect my DSL modem.

Yes, I know I'm complaining, but I gotta get it all in before I start again. Ok, here I go...

My, isn't the sky particularly shiny and bright today?

I read an article in People magazine about a pastor somewhere in Iowa (or some other such state I've never visited or plan to visit) who is passing out a free "Complaint-Free Bracelet" -- similar to the Live Strong bracelets, but in purple.

The article got me thinking about how often I complain ... and boy, do I complain! So I'm going to try to forego complaining for one whole week.

It's been half a day already, and let me tell you, it's a lot harder than I thought! (Not that I'm complaining...) There have already been at least three our four times that I really had to bite my tongue.

I've also found that, sans complaining, I've talked a lot less today than I normally do. That's pretty sad, isn't it?

Of course, I'm still finding my way around this. I'm sure as the week goes along, I'll come up with rules and exceptions. For example, if I say something sarcastically, like "Boy, I'm sure glad that person didn't cut me off" after someone cuts me off, does that count? (I think it does.) Also, am I allowed to complain on this blog? (I think I should be.) Those kinds of things ...

So we'll see how it goes. I'll be sure to post updates here ... without complaining, of course.

It's been a long time since I've done something stupid.

Ok, not that long, but seriously, it's been a while since I've left the house with two different color shoes on, or walked the looooong hallway to the office without realizing my shirt was up around my neck (don't ask). I mean, it wasn't too long ago that a week wouldn't go by without me walking into the glass doors at 7-11, thinking they were open, or forgetting to close the sunroof during a rainstorm.

That said, I'm in for it big-time. If it's been this long, there's a lot of stupid-time to make up. I wonder what I should expect. Will I get all the way to work before realizing I haven't changed out of my pajamas? Will I show up to work, only to look down and see pink, fuzzy slippers, instead of shoes, on my feet?

I'm a little nervous...

"A creative fan got up close and personal with Hugh Grant at the Amsterdam premiere of his new film, 'Music & Lyrics,' on Friday night. The fan managed to get near the British actor and handcuffed herself to him. Police and emergency fire rescue had to be called in order to cut off the handcuffs. The young lady was later detained by police but released without serving time in jail."

Why didn't I think of this? Oh, yeah, because it's crazy.

My friend Neets said I was not completely forthcoming in my last post. As she so kindly pointed out, "Murder, She Wrote" is among the least embarrassing programs I've been addicted to. Sadly, she is right. I've canceled plans with friends in order to watch much-worse shows. (Remember, though, this was before TiVo ... so I had no choice! I mean, what was I going to do, miss them? Pshaw.)

So, because I have no shame, here is the real list of TV shows I can't help but love. Try not to judge me too harshly. It's a sickness to love this much suckitude.

"Matlock" -- Come on, are you gonna tell me that just the sight of Andy Griffith doesn't make you feel better? It's like pop-culture comfort food, people.

"JAG," about a group of Judge Advocates General. I watch it a lot in reruns. The best thing about the show is that it spawned the spin-off "NCIS."

"The District," which followed the work and personal life of the chief of Washington, D.C.'s Metropolitan Police Department, played by Craig T. Nelson ("Coach"). Sounds like it could be good, right? Yeah, it really wasn't. Which isn't to say I don't enjoy it. The only problem is that reruns are on the same time as "JAG"'s, so I have to switch off on which one to TiVo. Decisions, decisions. Life is hard.

"Stargate SG-1," a sci-fi show about a team of "explorers" that use a network of ancient Stargates, which enable interplanetary travel, to defend Earth from the Goa'uld and other alien threats. I know it sounds hokey, but it's actually quite ... oh, who am I kidding? It's totally cheesy. I love it.

"Viper," an action-adventure TV series about a special task force set up by the federal government to fight crime in fictional Metro City, Calif. The weapon used by the task force is an assault vehicle that masquerades as a Dodge Viper RT/10 roadster and coupe. A poor man's version of "Knight Rider." (And here you thought "Knight Rider" was the poor man's version...)

"Diagnosis Murder" -- This, by far, is the most embarrassing. (Yes, even more so than "Viper" -- at least that was meant to be cheesy.) Here, the plot centered around Dr. Mark Sloan (Dick Van Dyke), a renowned physician who occasionally worked for the police department as a consultant. Riiiight, because being a "renowned physician" wasn't keeping him busy enough. But I love Dick Van Dyke -- he's like Andy Griffith; you can't help but feel good at the sight of him.

There, it's all out in the open. Now that wasn't so bad, was it? I feel much better having gotten that all out there.

Now, if you don't mind, I've got a couple of "Columbo"s to catch up on...

I just got over this awful stomach bug that's been going around, and man, it really knocked me out. It was all I could do to lift my head off the pillow.

So I pretty much spent four days on the couch, sleeping. Ok, that's not true. I spent most of it watching "Murder She Wrote" marathons.

Hm, should I have admitted that? Probably not. But I love myself some Jessica Fletcher. Isn't Angela Lansbury just the coolest old lady? "Murder She Wrote" is like a warm, fuzzy blanket. I can't help but feel calm and reassured when I watch it.

I'd say it's a guilty pleasure, but there's no real reason to feel guilty about it. At least, not like when I used to watch "VIP," that Pamela-Anderson-as-private-detective show. Um, ok, now that I'm fairly certain I shouldn't have admitted...

I'm sorry, was there a football game on last night? I was busy watching commercials ...

Ok, I'm lying. I was totally psyched the Colts beat the Bears, if only because I'm a sucker for underdogs. The fact the game was so tight for most of it only made it more interesting. But really, it's all about the commercials.

My faves:

Budweiser, "Rock." Who knew a game of "rock, paper, scissors" could be so dangerous.

Blockbuster, "Mouse." I'm sure the folks at PETA hated it, but I thought it was hysterical.

Snickers, "Manly." Yes, it was homophobic, but funny nonetheless. And really, it made fun of what idiots men can be. "Quick, let's do something manly." I can totally picture that happening.

Bud Light, "Class." I love Carlos Mencia, so this ad, where he teaches an ESL class, was likely to be entertaining for me. I also liked the one where he tells his girlfriend's friends all the things she's been saying about them behind their backs. Ok, so if that actually happened to me, I'd be really pissed, but it's TV, so who cares? It's funny.

Budweiser, "Dogs." Sooooo cute. I totally wanted to adopt that dog.

I also liked the one about Black History Month. It was sentimental, which you don't really look for in Super Bowl commercials, but it was nice. Of course, the fact that it was followed by men bashing each other in pursuit of a ball didn't exactly help.

This was on a friend's blog, but I can't resist sharing:

Um, I'm not quite sure what I'd do if I walked in to this on a Monday morning...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." -- Marianne Williamson

Wow. How amazing is that quote? I heard it first in "Akeelah and the Bee," and it stuck with me. "Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." This is especially true of women. All young girls should be read this quote. Let's stop the "marginalization of women" and remind girls that it's ok -- actually, encouraged -- to be strong, powerful, opinionated.