So last night was the Project A.L.S. fundraising dinner. Thanks to my friend Diego's generosity, I was able to schmooze with some of the celebs in attendance.

Of course, as should be expected, I totally made a fool of myself. Don't believe me? Ask Diego: "You totally made a fool of yourself." (Ok, so he didn't actually say this, but I know he's thinking it ...)

We were there for about an hour, and it was totally boring so we decided to skedaddle and grab some grub at a Thai restaurant. (It was my first time eating Thai; it was good.) Anyway, so we were on our way out when we stopped by the press area so Diego could say hello to one of the actresses, whom he happened to know. While in the press area, I turn and see a tiny little woman standing next to me. So I say, "Hi." Then I realize it's Rachel Dratch. "RACHEL DRATCH! Oh my god. Diego, it's RACHEL DRATCH! I'm such a big fan. I've seen everything you've done, like 'King of Queens' and ... [dead silence] ... um, so, do you want to take a picture of me?" Sigh. Diego came to my rescue: "How about I take a picture of the two of you?" Thank goodness for Diego. I'm such a nerd ...

... which, if it weren't apparent already, will be shortly. You see, after I took the picture with Rachel Dratch, I see Aasif Mandvi, whom I love from "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart." I TiVo the show every night, so I see him on it all the time. I think he's a pisser. Anyway, I see him walking towards us, so I go, "AASIF MANDVI!" (By the way, their names are in all caps because I couldn't help screaming their names at them, as if they had forgotten who they were ... or were deaf.) "Diego, it's AASIF MANDVI! I'm such a big fan of yours from 'The Daily Show.' I mean, I'm not from 'The Daily Show' -- you are. But you know that. What I mean is I'm a fan of your work from 'The Daily Show.' Yeah, Ok, so, do you want to take a picture of me?" I kid you not. Again, thank goodness for Diego, who quickly corrected me, and Aasif agreed to take the picture. At that moment, though, the camera batteries died. But Aasif was so nice; he told me to replace the batteries (thank goodness I had brought spares) and that he was going to grab a bite to eat, and to call him over when I was ready. And lo and behold, he came over when I called him over. He totally came right over with a mouth full of food and posed for a pic with me. What a nice guy.

Then there was Richard Kind (picture above, with moi), or as I called him, "RICHARD KIND!" You know what's coming next: "Diego, this is RICHARD KIND!" I'm stupid. Thankfully, though, I did not ask Richard Kind to take a picture of me. I got it right. Crisis averted.

So I had gotten a few pictures. My job was done. We could go. As we were walking down the block, I saw "The Daily Show"'s Rob Riggle, on his way to the dinner. Sigh. Do I have to say it? Oh, alright. "ROB RIGGLE!" He smiles, waves, keeps on walking (smart man). I say to Diego, "Oh, I wanted to take a picture with him." Well, I must have been talking quite loudly, because we looked back and saw him walking back our way, ready to pose for a picture. How about that?

I have to tell you, these folks were so super-nice, especially given the fact I acted like a lunatic. I mean, seriously, they could have called the cops on me. I was acting that crazy. Thankfully, they saw me for what I am, just a loser. But I'm a loser with pictures! So click here to show me it was not all in vain.