I have hit a milestone: I’ve lost 35 lbs!
It’s funny, though. I don’t quite feel, psychologically, the way I thought I would. Of course, I’m happy and all that I’ve lost all that weight, and I feel better than I have in a really long time, but it’s been a weird feeling because I’m not as satisfied as I thought I’d be.
When I started Weight Watchers about a year and a half ago, I set the goal as a number I thought I’d be really happy with. I thought, wow, if I could get down to this weight, I’d really be happy with my body. But I still feel unsatisfied, still feel fat. I’m setting a new goal, another 10 lbs, but I wonder if that will make a difference either. When I get to that weight, will I still feel like I should lose yet another 10 lbs?
The best part of the weight loss has been going shopping for smaller clothes. But it’s been a struggle to get out of the “fat mentality.” I still keep trying on clothes in my old size, because that’s all I’ve known. I don’t even try clothes on in a medium, sometimes even a large, because I’m certain they’re not going to fit, so why make myself depressed? I’m so certain at the time that I will have turned out to just have been self-delusional about the weight loss, and when I try on those sizes, I will have proven myself right.
I’m not a skinny person -- I never will be. I have what they call “birthing hips.” (Hope to never put that to the test!) That’s why I set a goal I could live with. It’s not so low that it will only last two weeks, but not so high that it won’t make a difference to my health or how I feel about myself. But it turns out it’s still not enough. I love when people I haven’t seen in a while tell me I look great, or ask if I’ve lost a lot of weight. It feels great. But then I think: “Don’t get excited, Maria. You’re still as fat as you were. It’s just this particular outfit that makes you look thinner than you really are.”
I’m on my way to my second goal, and I wonder if that really will have an effect. Will those next 10 lbs be the ones that make me really change my attitude?
4 comments:
Enhorabuena...es realmente un gran sacrificio...Para mi perder un par de kilos me cuesta muchoooo.
Después de tanto esfuerzo vale la pena por los resultados "tan visibles"
saludos desde Galicia (Thirthe es una meiga cotilla) jajajaja
Hola, "nadie." A ver, quien eres? No adivino!
Y que es "meiga cotilla"? (Se lo que es cotilla, pero no meiga). Traduce, por favor. Mi español va a peór cada dia!
Maria :-)
Cómo que no sabes que es una meiga? Galicia, terra meiga, recuerda. Meiga, maga, o bruja buena. Ay, lo que me queda por enseñarte todavía!!!;-)))
Te presento a Nadie, una amiga que como ves no necesita presentación. Es muy buena chica. Cúidala cuando vuelva por aquí.
Muchos besos.
Bueno, que me quieres? Te dije que mi español va a peor! Tengo que pasar mas tiempo ahí!
Maria :-)
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