It's my birthday in a few days. That's right, I'm turning the big 3-0. Ok, that's a lie. I'm just a teensy bit older than that. Fine, I'll cop to it ... I'm turning 37.

I know they say that age is just a number, and that you're only as old as you feel (which I hope isn't true, because I feel about 80!), but I'm having trouble with this one. For those of you who are older, I know you're probably thinking you'd give your left teat to be 37 again. But this is the oldest I've ever been, so forgive me my pity party.

Ugh, I do feel quite old. And now that my mom's moved to Spain, I feel even older. My sister's only 24, so you can imagine how that is. If I get asked "Are you her mom?" one more time ...

Anyway, I'm easy to shop for, so don't worry about what to get me. Just make it sparkly and you'll be fine. :-)

Really interesting article:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/20010696/site/newsweek/

I haven't heard this angle before.

Unfortunately, the video has been removed from YouTube. I wonder why. I would have loved to see it ...

Well, I finished Harry. I won't give anything away, don't worry. Let me just say that it was a masterpiece, the best in the series, and that's saying.

If you've read it, drop me a note via e-mail, so as not to ruin it for anyone who hasn't finished it yet.

I don't know what I'll do now that the series is over. Oh, sure, I can find another book to read, but it won't be the same. Harry, I'll miss you -- the book, not Harry. I'm not saying Harry dies, or that he doesn't. I'm not saying anything. :-)

I'm about a third of the way into the new "Harry Potter" book. Don't worry -- I'm not going to say a word about it.

But with all the media storm surrounding the new book, I'm torn. On one hand, I want to read it as slowly as possible, and savor all the fine details. On the other hand, I want to read it as quickly as possible so as not to come across something that inadvertently -- or inadvertently on purpose -- gives anything away. What to do?

I've taken the day off tomorrow so I can dedicate my day to reading the book. Crazy, I know, but it's the only compromise I could think of. This way, I can take my time reading it, but I don't have to worry about spoilers.

So if you call or e-mail me tomorrow, know that I won't get back to you until I've finished my Harry-time. Not that I don't trust you...

On a semi-related note, RFSJ turned me onto a quiz to determine who your HP alter ego is. I was certain I'd be Hermione, but I turned out to be Remus Lupin, the werewolf, instead. Figures. I do tend to be a bit hairy. Check out the quiz here and tell me who your HP alter ego is. Just know that if it's Snape, well, I can't be your friend anymore. :-)

I'm back from DC. I didn't get arrested, but I did manage to wipe myself out. Neets and I went everywhere -- on foot. I will be paying for this for days...

DC is a small-ish area, when compared to cities like New York or San Francisco, but there's a heck of a lot to see. And we saw nearly all of it. Oh, did we.



On Friday night, we went to see the White House (just from the outside, don't worry), the Lincoln Memorial, Korean War Veterans Memorial, Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall, and the Washington Monument, which looks like one ginormous phallic symbol.



In fact, Neets and I kept referring to it as the GP, or "giant penis." In one view, actually, you'll notice the Capitol Dome to one side. All it needed was another round building on the other side ... oh, nevermind. I have a dirty mind.



Anyway, on Saturday, we went to the Holocaust Museum, which was heartbreaking. The things we humans do to each other. The evil is unimaginable. Looking back, I would have skipped that museum, although I do believe we owe it to those who died to acknowledge what happened there. But it's terribly heartbreaking.



After that, we needed to lighten things up a bit, so we went to the Smithsonian National Air & Space Museum. That was totally cool. In addition to having all manner of rocketships and planes and whatnot, it was also the temporary home of some of the exhibits from the Smithsonian National Museum of American History, which is closed for renovations. We saw Dorothy's red shoes from "The Wizard of Oz," Mister Rogers' sweater, John McClain's wife-beater from "Die Hard" and a whole host of other neat stuff -- oh, and Kermit! We saw Kermit! So adorable.

I've got tons of pics -- 85 of them. It's a lot to go through, I know, but if you want to get a sense of what DC's like, you can find them here.

So I'm off to our nation's capital this weekend. Pray I don't run into Dubya, because I really have no desire to spend the weekend in jail.

My friend Neets will be there, too. We plan on hitting the Holocaust Museum, the International Spy Museum (how cool will that be?!) and the Air & Space Museum. We also plan on making out with a couple of senators. But not Republicans. There are still some lines I draw.

Anyway, you know I'll blog about it upon my return. And hopefully I'll have some pics, too. I don't know if I can take a lot of pics, due to security issues, but I'll try. And hey, if I do get arrested, I can count on y'all to come bail me out, right? :-)

Well, I didn't do anything stupid (yet), but I do have some good news: I got the all clear!

I'm one of the 6 percent for which the cancer did not recur. Now I just have to get tested again in two years, and then I'm in the clear.

Thanks again to all of you for all your kind notes. It's been a rough few days, but now I can go back to being the same, crazy ol' Maria Diarrhea. :-)

Thanks soooo much to everyone for your kind comments and e-mails. I'm doing great. I had a couple of days of nonstop nausea, but I'm feeling back to normal now. (Well, as normal as I ever was, anyway.) Hey, at least now I might finally lose some weight!

Tomorrow's the last day. I get the actual test and then I'm sent home. If they find any leftover tissue, all they have to do is give me a radiation pill and that's it. Zippo. Done. Granted, I shouldn't have any human contact for a day or so, since I'll be radioactive, but really, it's not like anyone ever wants to hang out with me anyway, so no big loss there. LOL. Hey, why aren't you laughing? That was a joke. I mean, people want to hang out with me all the time. Right? Right?!?

Anyway, thanks again. It really does mean a lot. And I promise that, as of next week, I'll go back to posting fun stuff. I'll make sure to do something stupid soon, don't worry. :-)

A few years ago, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer -- which, if you've gotta have cancer, is the one you wanna go with. It's slow-moving and highly treatable. If you catch it early enough, they just remove your thyroid, and you take a pill every morning for the rest of your life. Mine was caught early enough, and I had my thyroid (and a couple of lymph nodes) removed. I was given the all-clear two years ago.

A bit prematurely, it turns out.

You see, my doctor -- who must have gotten his degree at Wal-M*rt University -- "forgot" (his actual words) to actually run the necessary tests to ensure it didn't spread. Instead, he just did what all great doctors do: he assumed. Nice, eh?

So here I am, eight years later, and I have to get tested for what I should have been tested years ago. But I'm doing it with a new doctor, one that actually seems to have a clue.

This week, I'm getting a Total Body Scan. From what I understand, it's pretty much like an MRI. It's just a giant X-ray that checks to see if any of the cancerous tissue remains. It's a four-day process, which is a pain, but I guess not as much of a pain as having cancer, so I really shouldn't be complaining.

Today, Day 1, I got a thyrogen injection. Previously, if I wanted to get the TBS, I would have to go off my medication for two weeks. Seeing as how the medication takes the place of the thyroid function, this would, effectively, put me in a coma. Not good. But through the miracle of modern medicine, thyrogen "tricks" my body into thinking I've been off the medication, without me actually having to. Now that's good.

Tomorrow, I have to get another injection, after which I have to get blood drawn. Then Wednesday, I have to go to the hospital to take a radioactive iodine pill (which would probably prevent me from blogging, lest I throw the computer into a radiation tailspin). Then, on Thursday, I get the actual TBS. I think they tell me the results that same day. What a novel idea.

The doctor told me I could experience headaches and nausea these next couple of days, two side effects of the thyrogen. Of course, me being me, I'm not nauseous -- I'm hungry. That's a big surprise. Is there anything that would make me not be hungry?

Anyhoo, I'll let y'all know how it goes. If you have a chance, and wouldn't mind, please say a little prayer. Oh, and while you're at it, if you ask for me to win the lottery, I promise to share. :-)

With Independence Day (the day, not the movie) upon us, it made me think back to when I became an American citizen. I went with my dad, whose grasp of the English language was, to put it nicely, a little shaky. Sadly, he did better on the test than I did. And I was in college at this point!

Thank goodness for the guy who gave me the test. He totally gave me the answers. How many Supreme Court justices are there? I dunno ... 7? No? Um, how about 15? No? Doh!

I wonder how many "Americans" could pass the test. I say that if you're going to complain about immigrants in this country, you should be forced to take the test. No passy, no bitchy.

How would you do? Give it a shot: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/19552808/

It's harder than it looks! :-)