So next week, I'm going to a shooting range. I have a two-hour training session with a local detective, who's going to teach me how to shoot a gun (both a pistol and a revolver) properly.

Why am I doing this? No specific reason, other than it sounds like fun. I've never shot a gun before -- never even saw one in person. What I know about guns I learned from "CSI" and "Law & Order." If I ever actually came across one in real life, I wouldn't know the first thing about using it. (That's probably a good thing, considering ...)

But I've always wanted to learn, just for my own safety. I'm not going to go out and buy a gun -- I have no desire to own one and I'd never have one in my house -- but you just never know when something like that will come in handy. Believe me, I've seen enough "Bones" episodes to know that if a serial killer has you tied up and he accidentally leaves his gun next to you, it would sorta benefit you to know how to use it.

Anyway, I don't think they'll let me take pictures (and I do not want to piss off a guy with a gun), but I'll ask in my sweetest "pretty please" voice. Actually, I don't think it will be a problem. After all, at some point, he's gotta give the gun to me. Bua-ha-ha.