Ok, so one day last week, I walked into the bathroom at work, and on the floor of one of the stalls was a roach trap with the largest cockroach in it I had ever seen. I'm telling you, you could have slapped a saddle on this baby and ridden it home.

I was talking to the building manager about it, and she regaled me with a story about a friend of hers who also works in the building. This "friend" (uh-huh) was sitting on the toilet bowl when she felt something on her leg. She looks down to see this roach crawling on her leg. It was hiding under the seat!

I know you want me to stop now, but this is the best part:

So the "friend" totally freaks out, jumps off the bowl, hits her head on the stall door and passes out! So they had to call the paramedics, who went into the bathroom to help her out. Now, I know you've got the picture in your head, so I don't need to point out that she was using the bathroom when it happened, right? I don't need to mention that her underwear was probably down and she was mid-whatever? Ok, good, because I was a little uncomfortable about mentioning that.

And yes, I know this totally sounds like something that would happen to me, but it's not me, I swear. You know I'd soooo tell you. I have no shame.