This is a prime example of why I don't like my new office:

I was in the lunchroom making my lunch -- a nice, regular-size salad, with lettuce, olives, and slices of ham and cheese, with some low-fat ranch dressing. There were about six other people in the room at the time.

From across the room, some idiot yells out, "That's a mighty big salad you got there. You gonna eat all that?"

Seriously? Is that necessary? Why are you: 1) looking at my lunch, and 2) commenting on it. Do I even know you? Do I even want to know you? Sort of, and no.

Another instance: My cell phone rings. A passerby announces, rather loudly, "Your cell phone is ringing." No shit, Sherlock. You're kidding me? That's what that noise is. I thought it was my biological clock going off.

Arrrrrrghhhhh.